How he juggles…

I’m assuming that there’s about 8-10 women who believes Casanova is a “boyfriend“. A boyfriend who she believes is in an exclusive, committed relationship, and dreaming of a marriage…. like I was one time…

Casanova probably dates about 15 women from Match.com every month too.

In a TRUE relationship, if a guy likes you, he will always come to see you. He will stay at your place, you get to stay at his place as long as you want, give you a drawer or a space in his apartment to leave your things, he may give you a key to his apartment, etc….  But with Casanova, he will NOT allow you to leave your things in his apartment. If you do, he will hide it somewhere.  He will NEVER give you a spare key.  There is no way you get to stay in his apartment for a week.  In fact, there will be days or weeks that you won’t even see him…

So how does Casanova keep his so called “girlfriends” loving him without doubt?  It’s simple…  Casanova NEVER forgets to text or call every one of them every single day. It could be as simple as “miss u” or “hug“, “kiss“.  Just that simple text reassures her. Makes her think that Casanova is thinking of her…

BBQ10

===ATTENTION===

If you’ve been in relationships before, you should realize that it’s unnatural for him not to see you for days because he is swamped with work. Texting instead of calling? Realize the yellow flags!

In my case, until I found out about the womanizing, I was meeting Casanova quite often. But when I didn’t see him, he always called me. He would leave me long voice mails and many text messages too.  The call didn’t have to be long… but when I talked to him on the phone, I was happy the whole day… That’s how I know how other women manage to go through the day without seeing Casanova.  She will be thinking about him during the day, while Casanova is having sex with different women.

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How women don’t see the obvious…

Casanova is an attractive person. He is extremely intelligent, but he has a sense of humor, listens to different kind of music, plays several instruments, athletic, taught Kayak and martial arts before, chess master and poker player… basically can do anything if he wanted to. This is why he can relate a lot of stories with different type of women.  Because of his many achievements, he can make his stories extremely interesting.

On top of that, he is 6″4 tall and fit, well dressed, and does NOT act like a 31 year oldCasanova always takes time looking in the mirror, gets a haircut every month at an expensive hair salon in downtown San Francisco… so yes, he is an attractive person.

Downside is, he is so smart that he could make up a story and lie easily. That’s how I believe that most of Casanova’s women don’t realize what he is hiding.

===ATTENTION===

If he seems too good to be TRUE, he probably is.

In May, Casanova got a Porsche SUV and asked if I wanted a ride. He asked me “what do people think when they see me in a Porsche?”.  I replied to him “a SHOW OFF”.  Not only from his question, but it was obvious that one of the reasons Casanova got this car was to impress women.  And I KNEW that his womanizing was about to escalate…

Casanova knows that I can read his actions now.  I even call his apartment “playboy mansion” and call him a “player” straight to his face, but he still lies to me. Either it’s his policy not to reveal his life as a womanizer, or he doesn’t know how to be honest anymore.  I’ve found so many evidences so far, and it’s not funny.  Child seat, children’s blanket, ear rings, tooth brush, face cream, and many more…. To be honest, although I know he is a lady killer, I was shocked to find out that he is sleeping with women with children. He was allowing the women to bring her child to the apartment… What’s worse is that these women are not thinking about how this could confuse a child…

I’ve been in several relationships before, and I’ve left my stuff at his place too. Only because I knew that I was coming back, and it was ridiculous to bring them with me every time I visit.  So I understand why women leave things at Casanova’s place. They may claim to have “just forgotten”, but I know that women don’t forget!!! They leave their things on purpose.  You just DON’T forget a child seat or a blanket.  Probably these women have NO IDEA that she’s only ONE of the MANY women that Casanova is sleeping with.  Casanova tries to hide things, but he doesn’t hide it well. He always tells me “I have friends and family visiting“, but we BOTH know it’s a lie…

Porsche

How to be successful…

Casanova is without doubt, one of the smartest 31 year olds in the San Francisco Bay Area. He started his own business while in high school, and made his way up at an early age because he worked harder than others. He thinks fast and doesn’t waste his time.

I’ve read somewhere about common routines that successful people do;

  • Wake up early….. early bird catches the worm
  • Exercise everyday
  • Eat healthy
  • Plan
  • Socialize, network
  • Meditate
  • Keep up with the news
  • Good nights sleep

Casanova does ALL of the above. Even with his busy schedule with work, he is always listening to the business news, always buys his groceries at Whole Foods (health conscious-which I totally support), probably dating a different woman every night, has an extremely expensive bed and sheet sets to get a good rest.

WholeFoods

Here’s is what unsuccessful people do;

  • Criticize  (instead of talking positively)
  • Blame others  (instead of being responsible)
  • Think they know everything  (instead of trying to learn more)
  • Don’t have a target  (instead of setting goals)
  • Fear change  (instead of being innovative and change)
  • Put off until later  (instead of making every minute count)
  • Don’t work hard  (instead of working hard)
  • Negative belief  (instead of being optimistic)

Now here is where it contradicts with womanizers. A womanizer are OVER complimentary, but when something goes wrong, he will blame EVERYTHING on you. When I found out about that he was cheating on me, I got really angry. But he said;

“You are so messed up.
Think about what u’ve been doing to me- the games, the doubt, the effect on my work
U really screwed up my work this week- driving ur stuff to u–drama constantly…sacrificing my sleep–driving to u etc etc
Go sit and think about things…what u promised, how u treat me and how I am committed to you. No demands…u need to trust I will focus on u and us and my commitment etc etc–enough…let me do what I need/want…and stop it- ur lucky I’m willing to take profile down for u…bye for now
All that matters is that I try to make u happy–dont worry what else I do–i need to maintain a wide range of relationships for biz etc
Enough for now..talk later. Kiss–NO MORE DRAMA- had enough.”

Casanova was sleeping with women from Match.com but saying that I was playing games and being dramatic. He always said that he was going to make me the happiest woman in the Bay Area, but instead, he made me miserable. He was the one playing games and creating the drama, NOT me.

I don’t know if any of these women he’s dating realized that he’s actually a womanizer, but to think that he is in LOVE with you, you have to be NAIVE.

How he uses women…

Casanova doesn’t tell me how many women he’s seeing, but I’m guessing that he currently has about 8-10 women who thinks that he’s a “boyfriend” and believes that they’re in love… Then he would be dating about 15 new women from Match.com each month (depending on how many responses he gets).  This is ONLY my assumptions from looking at the evidence left in his apartment, so there may be more, or less… When we started dating and also after we broke up, he told me that he dated a lot, but most of them don’t get a second or third date. So in his case, though he meets them for a date, he is somewhat picky. He told me that he prefers older women, and have actually dated someone 15 years older. He says that he doesn’t get along with women of his age…. because he is too smart for his age…

Casanova is keeping some women for his own benefit. I suspect they are lawyers, accountants, engineers, scientists… I know that he likes to DOMINATE, so he only likes women who would NOT question him, and does everything he says….. meaning…. he uses women like assistants without pay… He likes to take CONTROL of everything, so he doesn’t need a women who doesn’t listen to his orders.  I am saying this through my own experience….

When we started to date in September, Casanova often told me that he plans to buy a house in Half Moon Bay… but I haven’t heard him say that this year… He does say that he wants to become a billionaire though. To an average person, becoming an billionaire is not an option. But Casanova has a huge goal, and mentions it a lot. And that’s how women starts to imagine herself of becoming his BILLIONAIRE wife… and tries to do whatever he asks her to do…

Waterfront

I am NOT saying that ALL womanizers are the same. Casanova is truly narcissistic in both good and bad way.  He believes that ALL his ex-girlfriends are wanting to get back. He told me that he had always been a good looking, straight-A student without studying, predicts the future, everybody wants to work with him, etc…  During sex, if I try to tell him to do something, he gets upset saying that he knows what women wants.

Having said that, every time we have sex, he would ask me whether he has the biggest dick, or he’s the best sex that I’ve ever had…. If he is so confident about himself, why would he ask me every time?  I sometimes worry that he has a personality disorder since he can’t tolerate criticism.

Could it be that WOMANIZER is a disorder too?  He is never satisfied, so he keeps picking up women after women on Match.com.

How my research started…

It had been a month since I broke up with Casanova. I told Casanova that he chose Match.com over me. Of course he denied, but it’s so true.

Knowing that he’s a lady killer, I decided to meet him again… I know that it’s the last thing I should do after a breakup (especially if he’s a womanizer), but I couldn’t resist. I’m not going to blame everything on Casanova.  Though he was manipulating me into seeing him again, I could have refused to see him. So it was my stupid choice…

To be honest, I was really curious to see if I could get the dirty secrets out of Casanova’s mouth. It wasn’t going to be easy, but I wanted to give him a hard time.

===ATTENTION===

Womanizers are NOT looking for long term relationships. Dating is a game to him. He likes to meet women and seduce them to bed. Some of them wants the women to fall in love with him, but once he gets her heart, it’s GAME OVER…. he will be leaving you.

Then why would Casanova want to see me again? He knows that I know about his lies about commitment and love for me.

Casanova picked me up in his BMW. It seems that he had lost a lot of weight after the breakup. I don’t know if he were on a diet, or did I really screw him up?  We started talking as if nothing had happened between us. But when I got to his apartment, I saw the difference.

His apartment was a mess. Even in this mess, I could easily see that several women had been coming to his apartment.  It was obvious that Casanova liked Asian women. There were different length of black hair all over the apartment. It’s not that visible, but since I was acting like a detective, I could tell.  Casanova doesn’t drink wine, but there were wine bottles on the counter, with used glass.  He doesn’t eat chocolate, but there were expensive chocolate bars… The fireplace had been used several times, dishes served for 2 people…etc.

===ATTENTION===

Womanizers like to keep a variety of women. Single, separated, divorced, with children. He may not care even if you bring your child with you (I know for a fact, which I will eventually post). He is a predator.

Not only because Casanova can’t clean up, he’s 6’4 tall, so he wasn’t seeing the room the way I was.  Looking at the mess, it made me realize that he is NEVER going to be committed to one person. Maybe when he’s 35 or so, but NOT now.  I tried to put myself in his shoes… 31 years old… why should he settle when he can sleep with hundreds of different women… But then, why can’t he just sleep with them and move to the next? What I don’t understand is, why take his time making her believe in a FAKE future?

BMW

How he manipulated me again…

I’m not really a “texting” person, so I’ld rather talk on the phone. However, Casanova is REALLY good at texting. That’s why I have so many text messages left in my phone.  I could just copy everything here since it’s quite funny and that you can see his womanizing techniques. But it’s too long…

Finding out that I had been played by Casanova was very shocking, but not having a man in my life was depressing. Like most people, I was going through an awful phase after breakup. And Casanova’s text messaging made it worse…

Casanova:  To be honest with u—once women have dated me–they have a very difficult time finding another guy…That they want to be with

Me: Don’t be so sure of that.

Casanova: Oh- I am sure…and don’t be so sure that these guys ur dating…are actually single..:) wink.  I know women are “greedy for sex” with me
However, I’m not so greedy for sex with them…in ur case though- its been a different story on the “(
his real name) greedy for sex with a woman chart”

…. I decided to play along with his ego…

Me: I have a question for you. With the amount of women you are dating, how do you manage not to mix up names? I was getting to a point that I simply didn’t repeat their names.

Casanova: Wow- ur such a slut..:) wink.  That’s cute
Why am I being attracted to u when ur so messed up to me?..:(
Its cute that u don’t remember their names
In ur case- just associate names by “Fred- F for Frumpy”…”Sam- S for Stupid”…”John- J for Jerk”…”Matt- M for Moody”…etc etc
And of course..”(his real name)- B for Best”

Text messaging went on for a week… It was just like before. Except that, this time, I knew that Casanova was dating several women.  Though it seems that I have the high ground, Casanova was still manipulating me… He knew how to get my attention, he knew that I was vulnerable, and he knew that I wasn’t getting good dates…

Casanova called on a Friday evening…. we spoke about 8 hours… he was extremely smart, and knew that if he kept on talking, that I would be missing him more than ever…

How I tried…

3 weeks had passed since I ended my relationship with Casanova. I was on Match.com meeting different men, and thought that it’s time for me to go back to speed dating. The last time I went was in September, where I met Casanova…

Speed dating seems more productive than online dating for me. Even though he maybe good with emails, sometimes I don’t get the same vibe when I meet in person. On a speed dating event, I only get to talk for 5 minutes each, but it doesn’t take long to figure out if I want to know more about that person… When 5 minutes seems long, I know that I’m not interested.  What I like the most is, that I get to meet about 15 men in one night!

I signed up for a speed dating event in San Francisco, hoping to have an interesting evening.

But 30 minutes before the event, Casanova texted me…

“Ugghhhh…u really screwed me up..
I just feel abandoned by u and having a very rough time
Hope ur doing okay”

This short text, messed up my mind… without a thought, I was calling him. Casanova answered… we had not talked in 3 weeks, but as soon as I heard his voice, I realized that I needed to focus on the speed dating… so I hung up.

It was too late… the damage was done… Though I was speed dating with 15 different men, Casanova was on my mind. Not only was I thinking about the text message, but I was comparing each men with Casanova… During the short break, I checked my phone. And there it was, another text message from Casanova.

“Just had car accident- someone did hit and run on my car in parking lot- they rear- ended me- I watched it happen from outside my car–horrible day..-:(  “

Why did he have to text me on the day I go back to speed dating… It was as if he knew what I was up to… I was upset about myself. I was easily distracted by Casanova’s words, and ruined an opportunity to have a good conversation with those men.

The next day, I was still feeling angry at myself.  So I texted Casanova, “Why did you have to text me yesterday. U screwed me up 😦  “

Casanova replied,  “Because I miss u and am disappointed in u”

And the texting didn’t end here…