How I noticed the signals…

The following Monday, it was Casanova’s 31st birthday. Normally a girlfriend would think of a gift, but I purposely didn’t give him anything. Just like Christmas, I thought that he already had everything, and that he was the one with money. This was another good choice that I made in this relationship.

Next day, Casanova asked me to pack for several days and stay at his apartment. His apartment was still not complete and he needed some help. As I was good at house cleaning, I found myself really cleaning and organizing…

I don’t know when it started, but it sometimes felt like he was giving me orders… I like to help, but don’t like to be ordered…

Though he had asked me to pack for a few days, all of a sudden on the second night, he tells me that he will be having an early business meeting so I need to leave NOW! This was a YELLOW flag.  There was definitely something going on. Why would I have to leave for his early meeting? It didn’t make sense… I was getting upset about his decisions…

Weekend went by… Casanova asked me to come over again. This time he didn’t mention about the duration. I went to his apartment, but I wasn’t the same person anymore. The moment I walked in the apartment, I was looking for changes.

Casanova always purchased from WholeFoods as he was careful of what he ate. He was a kind of person who would NEVER purchase from a Chinese store. There is a Chinese store right outside the complex, but he had mentioned to me that he hates that place. But, there were Chinese seasonings purchased from that store. Casanova doesn’t read/write Chinese, so there was NO WAY that he had purchased them himself.

I went to the bathroom, and you will NOT believe what I found… a black pubic hair… I know for certain that it wasn’t mine since I’ve got rid of mine with laser treatment… This was a RED flag.  Because of this one hair, I turned into an investigator.  I looked at the trash in the bathroom and found a ladies shaver… and a receipt. From the card number, I knew that Casanova had purchased it.

I confronted Casanova with the evidence, hoping that he would be sorry for what he had done… In stead he said “I have family and friends stay here too! Someone must have shaved in the bathroom. I don’t know what they do there….”.

evidence 1

It was an obvious lie. Casanova was a person who would give real names when talking about somebody. If it were his family or friend, he would have said the name.  Plus, it was Casanova who had purchased the shaver.  I could NOT believe that he would lie to me in my face! Casanova even said that I was paranoid and that “I need to trust him“. He repeatedly said that he loves me and that there is nothing to worry. I was so angry that I had to leave immediately.

On Sunday, I went to my friends birthday party in Red Wood City. I was upset about Casanova, but because I had fallen in love with him, I somehow hoped that it was just a slip. Just a one time mistake.  On the way back from the party, I decided to go to a store with my friend.  As I was walking around…… right in front of me, there was Casanova with an Asian woman…  Could you believe out of all the places that I could have gone, I meet Casanova here?!  I was ready to make a scene and walked towards them. Casanova didn’t see me coming, but when I stood in front of the two with an angry face, Casanova looked at me….. without a panic or fear in his face, he just signaled “shhh” and put his finger by his lip.  He knew that I was going to make a scene at the store, and so in front of his date… I realized by his gesture, that it would have been childish if I started yelling at him while everybody in the store would listen and stare…

Without saying anything, I walked away. When I think back at this incident, I should have said something… I could have at least asked him what he was doing here.

Few minutes later, Casanova texted me the following;

“Hi there! In a meeting- lol
Chase bank biz person
In a group thing also
Different people around me right now-
What r u doing in Redwood?
She wanted to walk as we were waiting on some other things- so was talking about candles
Hey- don’t scare me like that—brought back bad memories–please don’t let ur friends put doubts in ur mind–we don’t need that- this is exactly why I worry about u being “bored” or not having enough to do–women just sit and complain about the men- not nice..Ai O…anyway- hug…
I’m real busy today- have some fam and friend stuff going on too…
Not even sure when I could be done with stuff
Babe- the other day- I didn’t get some stuff done I needed to- cause I was with u–so- we spend quality time when we can
If I finish up quick- I can pick u up later
What r u doing tomorrow?
I have a lighter day tomorrow
I’m trying to think of movies that will help u understand better–hmm…
Hug…I called u–never answer..:(
Why rn’t u answering me..:( not nice…I think our relationship is lovely–but being tested now- please don’t doubt- I work very hard for u–thanks”

He called me several times and I listened to his stupid excuse.

The problem is, even after seeing him actually cheat, I was still thinking, “they didn’t look like they were having a good time. My first date with Casanova was definitely more attractive than that”… Do you see how love made me crazy?! How NAIVE I am?  Do I need to see them have sex in order to believe that I was cheated on?!


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