How he asked for a Pause…

After a 1.5months into dating, Casanova said that he loves me. Although I really liked him and missed him while I was away in Boston, I wasn’t sure if I loved him. We had a great weekend together and I was feeling really happy.

But a day later, I received the following email at 7:34am…

Hi Sweet Lady,
I’ve been enjoying our last few days with each other and was also reminded of some challenges–that we can often forget about, in the heat of romance.  I kind of got screwed up with some work stuff yesterday and also the last time we did some hoteling….I’m basically flaking on some responsibilities and commitments, that I need to straighten out.  I have so much to deal with right now and do miss you….
Thanks for your sexy text message—very attractive…….I just think we need to take a bit of a pause—or “slow down” “calm down”…as we say to each other.  I’m not asking to part ways romantically… please don’t be concerned.  I’m just asking for some time to focus on my work/career…sort things out…and hope for some stability.  It would be different if one of us had a hospitable place to stay at…but this hoteling reality is cutting into my career/work productivity….the lack of quality sleep slows me down, that day and the next day.  The lack of having a desk/monitor/home office setup….persuades me to “put off” certain work….and then I don’t get it done when I get back to an office, because other work pops up….it’s a continuing cycle…I have yet to catch up.  Internet speed is part of it too…I need really fast internet to really be “productive”….unless doing some light reading/research etc…but this time of year is very “computer active”..Excel, many applications going at once etc…..
So….I’d appreciate if you could let us have a pause for a while….you focus on school/job acquisition….I focus on my work.  Maybe you could tell your friends I’m “really busy at work” or something? It’s totally true…and I’m not sure of the best way forward with you—to be totally candid.  I enjoy you immensely and know that I found someone very special….our present circumstances and the realization that we are still in earlier dating/getting to know stages…is challenging us though. 
I hope this note is read with understanding eyes…..and maybe the time will fly quickly…I think it will…..we have to be able to focus on our careers though…as we have both invested so much into them…:(   Love is more important to me than career…..and maybe that will be a future for us…..we just don’t know yet “for certain”….so I’m asking for a pause so we can catch up on our responsibilities…mostly due to our hoteling scenario’s…..


It would be a lie if I said that I wasn’t shocked by this email. A couple of days before, he told me not to leave him and that he LOVES me… so I was confused.  Then I gave it some thought and realized how I needed to have some space for myself too. I had been spending so much time with Casanova that I was neglecting my friends.

(I found out later that he was starting to see another girl…)

Exactly a week after on Halloween, I sent Casanova a picture of me in a Pit Girl costume.  He immediately called me, but I was unable to answer the phone. Then he texted me the following:

” I’m in Love with you.
Tears are in my eyes right now.
I feel like a Tiger in a cage because of what separates us.
I’m thinking of letting “you go” as I think u deserve to be with someone who is more available… I am dealing with some things that I didn’t really explain to u also.
But maybe I can lick your pussy until u find another boyfriend or maybe we can stay together after all.
I just have some mixed feelings.
And struggling with work/money battles.
I was doing “okay” with being apart from u… and then got hit really hard today with extra thoughts, feelings about u.
Well- I wasn’t doing “okay” but better than today.
Maybe cause it’s Halloween, maybe cause I have to do battle in the morning… maybe cause who knows? I miss u everyday… missing u extra today”

I could NOT believe the text he was sending me. After telling me that he loves me and telling me that I’m special a week ago, he was now thinking of breaking up?! I called him right away to understand what made him think this way.

He started to talk about how he screwed up a couple of times at work and that he needs to concentrate on his work… etc… I just listened to him go on and on, because what he was saying didn’t make any sense to me.  After he finished talking, I said to him “I love you”.  

Those 3 words were all that I needed to get Casanova back on track.


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