I came across an interesting article on “How to spot a player” on match.com. I say it’s interesting because only half of the list fits Casanova’s profile and made me wonder if it’s this easy to spot one…
1. Being too vague is a bad thing – Casanova has accomplished so many things that he could and will explain in details. His story telling is so good, that people are drawn to his speech… He doesn’t have to be vague about his work because it’s all written on the LinkedIn profile with many recommendations from his clients and co-workers. He has well over 500 connections and it’s just impossible to lie… Casanova is not only intelligent, but he can play sports, chess, poker, watched a lot of movies, listens to all sorts of music, so his stories aren’t made up. Casanova will even talk about his past relationships, but since he’s such a smooth talker and remembers what he says, it won’t sound vague at all.
2. Beware of radical departures from the online profile – As mentioned above, Casanova doesn’t lie on his profile except from his willingness to find the special person. He even displays his age preference from 21-45, which should be a yellow flag but desperate or vulnerable woman don’t catch that. So I think he’s being pretty honest here, and it’s SO TRUE that he’s un-attached!!!
Hi- I’m hoping to connect with a special person, to explore the world together and build a happy relationship. Looking for someone who enjoys conversation and appreciates a healthy lifestyle. Some hiking/kayaking, drinking tea on a rainy day, getting on a plane and flying somewhere spontaneously, reading a good book by a fire…are all ideal activities. I’m accomplished in my career, un-attached and ready for a relationship.
3. Your date is prone to last-minute cancellations – This is true with Casanova. He will give a lame excuse to cancel the date or change the time. He would say things like “have dinner with client”, “have an early meeting tomorrow…need to go to bed early”, or “exhausted and not feeling sexual”. Other men I’ve dated came to see me after a business trip or wanted me to come over even if they had an early meeting, so I know when Casanova cancelled, it was for another reason.
4. Your date’s available only on certain days – This is true too. For the first 4 months into dating, he spent most weekdays and weekends seeing me. He didn’t care what time of the day, he tried see me whenever he wanted to. But in the 5th month, it all started to change. He mostly saw me on weekdays and started giving me excuses for the weekend. When I witnessed him with another woman last year on a Sunday afternoon, he had originally told me that he had to work. I guess when he said “work”, he meant “work on finding the next victim”.
5. Be cautious of the date who never invites you to his or her place – this is NOT true. Casanova will invite a girl to his place on the first date as he actually prefers to show his “playboy mansion”. He has a great view, fireplace, luxury furniture…. he cooks, lights his beeswax candles, uses his B & O speaker, 60inch smart tv…. he makes it so romantic that most girls would sleep on the first night…
6. Take note if your date recognizes and says hi to everyone in the immediate vicinity – this does NOT happen either. Casanova and I used to date outside a lot but never ran into somebody we knew. Unless we live in a small town, San Francisco Bay Area is too big to run into someone. Like I’ve mentioned before, I ran into him with another woman last year, but that was the ONLY time.
7. Keep your eyes on your sweetie’s cell phone – now this, I agree 100%. When I started to date Casanova, he would either hand me his cell phone, or hardly ever looked at it. But a couple of months later, he was constantly checking his phone without turning the ringer on. He can text faster than any voice recognition software or any typing game, plus he now uses a smartwatch so it’s hard for a girl to look into his screen, but it’s pretty obvious to me when he’s texting to girls by looking at his face and how he hides the phone.
8. And finally, trust your intuition – yes yes yes! I saw the Yellow flags but ignored them until the red flags showed up. I still can’t believe how blind Casanova’s woman are by missing the obvious signals and believe in his lame excuses. How could a 32 year old successful good looking guy settle down? Unless she’s a goddess, he’s not going to give up the joy of manipulating dozens of woman and feeling the power of control. Why would he?